i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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