I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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