obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
