he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
