I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize