the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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