So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
