I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
