I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
