Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
