I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
