Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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