Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
