i permit you to call me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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