if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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