like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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