Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
