You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
