so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
