i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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