I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
