Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
