remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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