I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
