Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
