mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
