I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize