i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize