This is not my ceiling
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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