Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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