So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
