I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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