the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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