Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
