told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
