now i know why i became what i already was.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
