i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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