Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
