no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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