My friends, they love my intelligence
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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