Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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