So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
