New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
