The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This is the high leading the old right now
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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