I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
