Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
