it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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