I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
