the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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