I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize