When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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