idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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