i barfeds in our rink
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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