I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
