She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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