btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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