fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
