dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
home. puking in laundry basket.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize