**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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