fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and she was petting her beer can
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
