I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
