Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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