I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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