I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
