I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize