Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
