forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
