covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
