I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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