At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
As shirtless as possible
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
