Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
