Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
