that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
