ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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